Saturday, November 28, 2009

An Ending

Not a few days have passed since I started my new blog and so much has happened. Where to begin really? I am feeling a bit melancholic ever since receiving my first assignment results. To say the least, it was horrendous. Nothing of what I had expected and everything my worse nightmare can become. It was an essay, one that I finished early and somehow right now I wish I hadn't. So many "if only"s going on in my head but I keep telling myself that it's over and done with. Nothing that can be done to change it otherwise. I have three days worth of holidays but I can't properly enjoy it because I am still obsessing over it even though I keep telling myself I should not. This is not me. I never care so much about getting A for any examination. I never care so much about any assignments, any projects. I told my friend about it and she was surprised to hear me talk like that. This was from someone who dared to hand in an incomplete work for her PMR history exam paper project, from someone who couldn't be bothered to study hard but still managed to scrape through. What happened? I guess, I just grew up. 

The low marks was not something I had not expected. It was more a blow to my ego than anything else. It hurts in ways that nobody could have guessed. It got me thinking. Not the marks, but his comments. Is that how everyone feels when they read what I wrote? Is that how I have been writing all along? If that was the case, maybe it's time for me to hang the pen (figuratively, speaking). So now, I'm announcing this. I have decided to take a hiatus from blogging. I do not want to let the crazy, choppy writer loose on anyone. I never thought my writing is good enough to be published, but I had thought I could at least write to save myself. Either way, it does not matter anymore. I will not be blogging here for sometime. I will continue writing but most probably, it will not be left out in the open. I guess it's time for the readers to rejoice? 


Dorae-ong said...

What happen?

Don't be too sad, keep writing, what do you care about what others people think?

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