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Saturday, November 28, 2009

An Ending

Not a few days have passed since I started my new blog and so much has happened. Where to begin really? I am feeling a bit melancholic ever since receiving my first assignment results. To say the least, it was horrendous. Nothing of what I had expected and everything my worse nightmare can become. It was an essay, one that I finished early and somehow right now I wish I hadn't. So many "if only"s going on in my head but I keep telling myself that it's over and done with. Nothing that can be done to change it otherwise. I have three days worth of holidays but I can't properly enjoy it because I am still obsessing over it even though I keep telling myself I should not. This is not me. I never care so much about getting A for any examination. I never care so much about any assignments, any projects. I told my friend about it and she was surprised to hear me talk like that. This was from someone who dared to hand in an incomplete work for her PMR history exam paper project, from someone who couldn't be bothered to study hard but still managed to scrape through. What happened? I guess, I just grew up. 

The low marks was not something I had not expected. It was more a blow to my ego than anything else. It hurts in ways that nobody could have guessed. It got me thinking. Not the marks, but his comments. Is that how everyone feels when they read what I wrote? Is that how I have been writing all along? If that was the case, maybe it's time for me to hang the pen (figuratively, speaking). So now, I'm announcing this. I have decided to take a hiatus from blogging. I do not want to let the crazy, choppy writer loose on anyone. I never thought my writing is good enough to be published, but I had thought I could at least write to save myself. Either way, it does not matter anymore. I will not be blogging here for sometime. I will continue writing but most probably, it will not be left out in the open. I guess it's time for the readers to rejoice? 

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Passionate Criminal

Introducing.....my new blog~ Crimine di Passione, a sister (?) blog to Asinine Bedlam. Sadly, this is not a public blog so no one is allowed to go visit it or read it. I'm just announcing it here because I am so happy of this new addition to the family. I just thought I need to explain why there will be certain times when the blog will be left empty because it usually means I'm updating the other one. I do not want to clutter this blog with emo post since that was never my intention in the first place. But be warned, there will be certain times when an emo post will make an appearance over here. The post in the Crimine di Passione are not for your eyes.


Why Crimine di Passione? It's Italian! It sounds sexy (Italian tends to do that...). It means something not sexy though...Crime of Passion. You know how the police usually label a first-degree murder as a crime of passion? That is where the idea come from. The motivation for murder is usually anger. The name symbolises that. It's a teenager, filled with angsty outbursts and languages that rivals a sailor at the market. But I guess you don't really need to know that. Anymore information about this blog will just tantalise you and make you wish you could read it. I'm sorry for letting you down. I just really need to keep a bit of myself to me. That's why I thought it might be better if the readers here are not aware of the ugly, angry side of me.  Anways...I will not leave this blog. I had thought of closing it down but I think I'll let it be...I will still blog in here. It's a balance that I am trying to keep so let's just see how it goes...If all works well, then this won't be axed and yeah...I guess that's about it.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Today in History

It's been raining for a few days now. Wet. Cold. It feels nice in the morning waking up to see mountains covered in a blanket of clouds looking so clean and pure but it is also a pain in my freezing rear end. SIGH....girls....you can never satisfy them.

Give me energy. Give me time. Give me strength to pull this through~

I can feel my lazy bones tingling because I really wish I could skip out and enjoy the day instead. I want to go out for a nice long walk without bothering about assignments, exams or studies! I want to be able to sit under the sun and enjoy the warm rays again. Heck, I wouldn't even mind sitting under the rain for a change right now! I want to be fully awake to be able to enjoy a short reprieve before battling out with dragons and monsters again. The mind wrecking, crazy, obsessive side of me would not even allow myself to take a breather and I feel like screaming at myself. Stop caring so much! It's not the end of the world yet! SIGH....so tired.

Today's history....a challenge I finally overcome! The miracle! The wonders! I finally stumbled through the silly sketch. The embarrassment. The adrenaline. I forgot my lines just when it's my turn to start the act. (Oops...sorry for letting you down, guys!) You can only imagine how nervous the first few few moments was. I had to sit there and stare as the audience patiently waited for me to start speaking. It helped that Wee Leng and Puey Ru was feeding me the lines at the side and Stippie was encouraging me through it. Gaaah...when I thought of all the crazy moments over there, it just make me wish I could go back and try again. I'm so sure I could do it better now.  Either way, I finally pull through and sexually harassed someone...Ish... I sound like a sex maniac here. 

We tried practicing yesterday and everyone had to coerce me to do it. They were extremely patient because I wasted so much  time trying to wriggle myself out of doing it. Anyway...it was all for an act...Hopefully there won't be any crazy sketch involving me sexually harassing anyone after this... I am so glad not everyone saw this embarassing part of me. To those that did...careful in your sleep tonight...I am not going to forget this anytime soon...(>__<)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Hope is...

...like living with our heads in the middle of the clouds. The panic, the adrenaline, the exhilaration. But when we fall, we fall down hard. It's painful beyond belief. Once reality sets in, who are we to blame but ourselves for aiming high? For believing in the impossible?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Randomness on a Thursday Evening

Only in Yao Jia's world can curry flavoured instant noodles change to onion chicken flavour... (=__=;)

In life, human plays many roles. As a companion, a friend, a family; everybody has a different mask for different occasions. You put on your 'happy' mask when you do not want people prying into your sad life. You put on the 'pity' mask when you hope for some understanding. But when you take off all these masks, what are you left with?

I am a sister, a daughter, a friend. I have different masks and I am not afraid to admit that some may be ugly than the others. The happy mask may not be sincere. The ecstatic mask may not be telling the truth. When all is over, who should I answer to? When all the grime is washed off, what is there to be seen on the husk? 

There is a cold war going on. In order to retain the superficial outlook of peace, we continue with our farce. The facade of layers and layers of masks is put on early in the morning the moment we open our eyes. This is a semblance of humanity. I wear the masks as a shield. To remove them would make me vulnerable. To leave them off would open my eyes to what the world really is. Let the mask continue shadowing my face, I say. An illusion of happiness is better than a reality of doom.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Happy Birthday Sesame Street!!



For the next few days, Sesame Street will be making an appearance on Google. It's the show's 40th anniversary on the 10th of November and the search engine is celebrating it. So those who love Sesame Street go to Google and catch a glimpse of your favourite characters vandalising the Google sign!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Of Tooth, Beards and Chickens

The thing about growing up is that you gain knowledge with time. The formulae here would be time being proportionate to knowledge. I don't mean to complain but there are some things I wish I do not know. Some things that I wish had been left in the dark. Here are 3 major (to me, anyway) facts I wish I have no idea about. A bit of warning though. This is not for the faint-hearted.


3. The Tooth Fairy is a stinking cheater!!

 

When I was young I really believe in Tooth Fairies.  I read about how the kids living in the western countries get money by trading in their tooth so I figured hey, I have baby tooth falling out every now and then so why don't I give it a try. So, I went to bed with my baby tooth under the pillow and woke up feeling all excited because I was so sure I could earn at least one ringgit. Sad to say, when I looked under the pillow there were no coins and my tooth was missing! The darn tooth fairy stole my tooth and didn't even bother giving me the money! I still keep my baby teeth though. I store them inside a jar and simply look at them when I have nothing better to do. Yes, I am weird that way. And yes, it does look kind of disgusting.


2. Santa Claus in Malaysia



Surprise, surprise! Which kid did not grow up wishing they could get free presents on Christmas? I do not celebrate Christmas but the feeling of festivity always strikes me come December. I knew Santa do not exist ever since I was in kindergarten. The Santa that went around passing out sweets in my kindie years was an Indian Santa with a fake beard and no beer gut. How was I suppose to believe in that??The fact that there's no presents lying on the floor on Christmas Day just proves the point. Even so, I still wish I could actually feel what it is like to celebrate a real Christmas. One with turkeys and the works. It's a good enough reason to party. ^^ So...another story on the existence of mythical creatures shot to oblivion.


1. Chickens come from the supermarket all wrapped up nicely!

This is one fact that I really wish is true, even until today. You go to the kampungs, you see the chickens happily minding their own business, crossing the roads every single time and suddenly this large, fat woman swooped down on them and cut up their throats! Horror upon horror!! You know the meat you eat must have come from some living creature but you just sometimes wish it's not true. I can never see a chicken being killed in front of me because I will refuse to eat it after and I cry when I look at them being killed. I love animals, but I love meat too. So my becoming a vegetarian is close to impossible. I did try it a few times though but never truly succeed in being one.


I am pretty sure there are still alot of stuff I wish I hadn't know but I just can't think of them right now. Anyways, this aren't really truly shocking facts. So if I can think of anything else I'll be sure to add it in!

Again...the pictures do not belong to me. Grabbed them from Google. So there is no intention of copyright infringement or what ever.