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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Friend InDeed

Friends. Really, what are they? Are they just people or instruments you use to pass your meaningless time on this superficial world? Or do you really appreciate them for who they are, for what they have done for you?

I think these days, most of the people join this friend group websites thingy. Friendster, Facebook, you name it. It's all the rage, aren't they? No doubt, it is a good platform to get in contact with your old pals, your new buddies, heck even strangers. But really, how many people or friends out of all the hundreds of contacts you have in there do you really know? Are they truly friends, or are they just there because you want to let people know, "Hey, I have many friends, what about you?".

Everytime I open my Facebook account, I feel guilty when I look at the friend requests. Should I really approve it, because I'm not really sure whether if I have seen you before, or even talk to you before. If I don't, you might say I'm a snob for not doing so but if I do, I will feel bad because I'm not sure if I have seen you before.


All this while I try to make sure I really know the people before I approve the requests simply because I want to be sure but after all that, I realise even with the people I do approve, I don't really know them that well. Yes, they may be acquaintance, people from school, from work, from the university, etc. Yes, I have friends but how many of them are good friends? Best friends, friends that I can call when I'm in trouble? It's sad to know that the person that I have known, my friend all the way back from primary school sidetracks me and think that someone else who isn't even that close to her is a much better friend than I am. Suddenly, I found myself losing my oldest friend because she doesn't think I am her friend. What happened to all those times we spend sitting in class talking to each other, hanging out during recess time, playing and goofing around in class?

I can't say I'm the best friend a person can get but I'm pretty sure I'm not that bad, am I? Yes, I am bad with people's birthdays, I can't even remember my own but I try not to break promises and I am there when you need me. Doesn't that count for something? I guess, that's just not good enough for you. Maybe, I missed a class when they were having a best friend etiquette session.


It is understandable that people change with time, that people drift apart somehow but it is sad to know that I have been the only one opening up all this time thinking you're my friend while you store all your news to yourself. Suddenly, I'm not really sure whether if I really do have friends. Maybe, all this time I was just living in my own world.

I'm never really a sociable person. Most of the people I know tells me that the first impression they got from me is that I am a cool person. Not the positive you're-cool-hippy kind but the cold type. I agree because I find it hard to speak to strangers, even more difficult to speak openly. That is why I treasure my friends and I don't really mind if I do not have many of them, so long as they are good friends, it's good enough for me. Now, what some of my "friends" have done left me thinking, maybe I never really was your friend. I wonder what the heck I have been doing all this while. Do I really know you that well?

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