Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Forgotten How Tos

First off, a big thank you to Wee Leng for the strawberries. Sadly, after a few hours sitting in the fridge, it has decided to become a box of garlic smelling strawberries instead. No matter, I enjoyed it just as much!

Having a short semester is always a half full-half empty glass of water situation. It is wonderful because it is a short semester, so less work and less revisions. However, short semester also means a lot of rushing with the assignments and for this semester, it also means a number of boring subjects to go through. With so much free time on my hands, I suddenly find myself bored because I have no idea what to do. I tried getting in touch with my old artistic self and picked up drawing again. Then, I tried revising (yeah, I know I'm weird that way...). Then I tried looking through my old pre-English Language course notes.

What is depressing about these activities is that I used to enjoy doing them. I had no time then but I love what I can do when I do find time. Now that I have enough time on my hands, the love has gone away. The spark that used to hold me in has disappear. I found out I can't draw as well anymore, I can't write the way I used to, I've forgotten my Science and Maths. The former are not that troublesome but the latter is. I wanted to continue on my science studies later on in my life but seeing how it is right now, I don't think it is possible. My creativity is still there but I can no longer put my thoughts on paper. That is frightening because all I have in my life is my pen and paper. If time has taken that away from me, I have nothing left to while away. There is no one to blame but myself in a way. 

Practice does indeed makes perfect. By choosing one option I have let go of the others. There is no point in looking back and wondering the what-ifs. The only option now is to move on and proceed with what I have. So the forgotten how tos will not lie forgotten for long. I will dig them up, brush the dust aside and hope that I can recall the spark and push myself forward. 



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