Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Tiger, Tiger, Burning Bright!

Welcome to another episode of "Yao Jia's How Tos". Today, we shall learn how to celebrate a wonderful celebration of Chinese New Year in a creative way. Before we begin, please be forewarned that all loss of wealth or damage to self is your own responsibility and the author will not be held responsible for them, thank you very much. 


1. Go around restaurants asking for "angpow" money after telling them you have been patrolling the area for robbers. 
I went to have "bak kut teh" for breakfast on Sunday just before heading to Kampar. Parked in front of the restaurant was a police car and the policemen were happily sitting in said car waiting for the taukeh to go ask them what seems to be the problem. Said policemen happily asked for "angpow" because they have been patrolling the area. Yesiree...our lovely authorities setting up good examples for the general public...

2. Find a dresser with a latch and knock your head on it.
It seems like my Sunday was an eventful one because I reached Kampar and was able to punctured my head on the edge of a latch while I was cleaning up my dresser. Slight bleeding aside, get ready to sleep the whole following Monday to wake up feeling like having a sledgehammer driving through your head. Wonderful experience, that is. Makes a good excuse to skip a working day, no?

3. Watch re-runs of old Stephen Chow movie and repeat the lines.
If hurting yourself or doing something illegal is not your cup of tea, you can always opt for a safer activity like this. Ensure that you have a good command of cantonese if you are repeating his lines although it is still fun bastardising the language. If you hate Stephen Chow's guts, well then go ahead and choose some other shows. What show is of no importance. It's what you do with it that counts. If Sesame Street rocks your boat, then knock yourself out. Sing-a-long with Ernie and Big Bird. 

4. Eat up all the mandarin oranges at home and arrange the skins on the floor into nice patterns.
If there's no mandarin orange at home, peanuts also works. Remember that patience is a virtue if you are doing this activity. If the grown ups ask you what you are doing, explain to them the intricate process of how an artist goes around redecorating a house. 

OK then, kids. That's it for today. Have fun and remember, you heard this first on Yao Jia's How tos!


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