Saturday, March 7, 2009

The world of the damned

There’s a comfort in knowing that when I die, it is over. I wouldn’t have to care any longer what people have to say or think about me. So, to me it seems death is the easiest way out. Life is over once the Grim Reaper comes to fetch you. To many, death is a taboo subject. I guess the reason for that is because we don’t like to know that life is actually really unpredictable. There’s no exact shelf life for this thing we call life, it afflicts everyone from the young to the old. There’s no age limit to it and it’s an inevitable thing. To me, death itself is not such a scary thought. What is scary is how I'm going to die. I do not wish to die a painful, horror stricken, slow death. Even though it is true I won’t have to care what people have to say any longer, I still do not want people whispering how hideous I look when I'm lying in the coffin. Of course, judging on how I’ve given this some thought, I think cremation is a better way out for me. But that’s the least of my worries.Are you ready to face your Maker on your Judgement Day? I think some people will be surprised by this phrase. Not because they’ve never heard it but it’s because it came from me. It’s a well known fact that I'm a freethinker. I do not believe in any specific religion although I was instilled the teachings of Buddhism when I was young. What I think is a tad bit blasphemous for some so I’ll just keep it to myself. No point starting a fire when there is already light. So, it’s a done deal that I'm a freethinker (oh, and you can stop preaching to me about how good your religion is by now) but here’s the bomb. I do not believe in your religion for personal reasons but that doesn’t mean I do not believe in the existence of God. After all, anything is possible. There aren’t any prove that says there’s no “holier-than-me being” living on the other side but there’s no prove that says this being does not exist either. Of course, if the being really exists, there will be a lot of questions from me when we meet.This is what makes death so exciting, what makes me look forward to death. The knowledge of what really happens when death comes a knocking. Death is but an adventure where a new page begins. I’ll know whether if there’s God, afterlife and whatnot. Of course, it will be a pity because I wouldn’t be able to disclose all this information to the rest of the living, breathing people. If I could, it would be a scary and miraculous thing wouldn’t it? I can practically see the headlines now. “GIRL CAME BACK FROM DEATH AND TELLS ALL”. We would know whether if all those wars were really worth it, whether if our planet exist because of the ‘Big Bang’ or because of a higher power. I'm wondering if we can have a debate when we’re there. (If “there” exist at all) I'm wondering whether if we could question the actions of a certain resident that lives there. If heaven really exist, I don’t think I would like to stay there on a permanent basis. I don’t mind going there for a visit but I don’t think I’ll enjoy it too much if I have to stay there forever. Happiness can only be felt when you’ve gone through sadness. Without sadness, you wouldn’t know what happiness is in the first place. If heaven really is as they say it is (the happiest place and all) then you’ll be immune to that ray of happiness when you’ve stayed there for some time won’t you? It’s just like being drugged continuously and your immune system begins to build a resistance to it.But then, I wouldn’t want to go to hell either. I know I will need to pay for any bad deeds that I’ve accumulated when I'm living on earth, but who’s to judge right from wrong? If a person steals for the well being of his parents, will that still count as a bad deed? If a person kills someone accidentally, is it a bad deed or is it an act that can be ignored? No one on this planet is perfect so there’s bound to be blunders and bad deeds done by everyone. Some not so serious and others so terrible it will remain a secret from everyone else. So does that mean we’re all going to go to hell? Even for the tiniest mistakes? Even for that white lie we said sometimes?Will my not believing in any religion bar me from going to heaven? Will there be no doors open for me when I die? Is afterlife real? Or would it be exactly what it is meant to be? The end of a life and nothing left but dirt and bones. Only time can tell. When I finally leave this comforting place, I want to be sure I won’t regret it. So take life to the fullest. I know it sounds clichéd but it’s a truth that has been taken for granted numerous times. Trust me; you wouldn’t want to end up wishing you had done something when you can no longer have the leisure of doing it.


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