Asinine Bedlam

When I close my eyes, I hear the sound of the fan circling above my head and the occasional raindrops falling outside the window. All is quiet and serene because students somehow manage to turn back time and slipped into their inner child when holidays rolled by. They rush back home like moths to lights or ants to sugar, excited to meet their families and gorged themselves on food. No doubt when the festivities are over, they'll return again and start shrieking like banshees in what in their mind they assumed to be melodious songs.      At this point in my life, I would truly like to say that my mind is as empty as the gift box lying around in the corner but sadly, that is not in any way true. I wonder if it has ever been true... A year has gone by again and without my realising it January has come and in a few days will be gone. I have come to a point in my life where I need to pause and calculate how old I am. That may not seem old to some but for someone like me who th...

I had this conversation with a friend of mine a few days ago and I really wanted to blog about it the moment I came back but the problem was that I had exams and I really, really needed to study. Either way, I found time to simply rant with no worries (yet) today and decided to just go with that..So, to keep it short the conversation was about internship and teaching. For those who don't know or have forgotten about it, I am currently pursuing (I never did understand why we use that verb) a degree in English Language.      I am in no way complaining about the course that I am taking but one thing that I would like to gripe about is how focused everyone seems to think that teaching is the only logical choice after graduating. Surely that is not the only choice for us...surely there are something else that we can do. I have to admit that when I filled in that form, I wasn't expecting myself to be a teacher and that view has not change since then. I have nothing against th...

My mom always tells me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Although I know this for a fact, I seldom practice it because I find it extremely difficult to swallow solid food early in the morning. However, being the obedient girl that I am, I got a gigantic box of cereal a few days ago which could last me a lifetime if I don't start having breakfast daily. So this morning I finally boiled some water, make some milo and cracked open the big box of Kellogg's Corn Flakes (Made from real corn it says on the box...). While I was munching away with nothing better to do I decided to read the cereal box. Lo and behold something caught my attention. I'm pretty sure most of the plebeians eat cereal for breakfast and maybe occasionally for supper as well. So why did they put 'breakfast cereal' on the box? Do we actually have a dinner cereal or lunch cereal that I do not know about? If we do well sign me up, I want one!! Sigh...my brain just doesn't work n...

Lookie!! A new post!! I kid you not...La dee da~      Anyways, I just realised I have been neglecting my poor blog for one whole month when I switched on Mozilla for a change...Oops...I've probably lost my readers if there were any to even begin with...      In case you are curious (really??!!), I have officially crossed over to the dark side and switched to Google Chrome for a change. As a result, I have been religiously ignoring my blog even though it's niggling at the back of my head. Lack of inspiration, no time, lazy to type, assignments...take your pick. So why blog again? Because I've finished my individual assignment and I have nothing better to do.      Things have been really crazy around the uni lately. People complaining left, right and centre. There's the thing about SRC elections, then there's the car park issue, then it's some exam issue and don't-know-don't-care issue. Feels like there's a season for everything here in Kampar....

     Would it be naive of me if I wish I had not known so much? Would it be silly of me if I wish I could close my ears and pretend not to notice sometimes? Would it be alright if I lie here and forget this ever exist? If, if, if, and only ifs.      Sometimes I feel as if we are living in a haven. Secluded in a warm embrace, protected by our little bubble where nothing can ever hurt us. It is a world where everything is beautiful and peaceful. A place where I can safely wake up and be ensured that it is another day to look forward to and the sun is shining on my head. The sense of serenity and happiness would be so strong the black cloud will not be able to dampen it.       But when I wash my face and rub my eyes, I see it is all a dream. My little perfect world packed up so nicely in ribbons and pretty wrappings are gone. It is just like any other day once I open the newspapers. There is no peace, there is only chao...

     I woke up with a smile this morning. I had an extremely vivid dream last night and it was so amazing I didn't want to wake up. As I sit here trying to recall my dream, it feels like holding water with my hands because the memories are slowly leaving me.       I dreamt of having a party at a guard house in a shopping complex (I know...so weird), I dreamt of colourful, Japanese looking decorations strewn across the walls, I dreamt of running up and down the steeping escalators with a bunch of faceless people as I giggled away but most important of all, I dreamt I went to the seaside. As I was dreaming of the seaside it felt so real I could practically feel the sand between my toes and rubbing against my heels as I run down along the waves holding my high heels. It was so real it's almost like I dreamt on HDTV with "sensor-feel" thrown in.       Funnily enough, the dream was so realistic there were knick knacks arou...

16th of April has come and gone. Nothing big happened; no fireworks, no big bang, no parties and thankfully no disaster happened. In fact; to many, me including, it is just like any other day. I toed my line over to the second decade last year and I reached the first year of my second decade on earth last Friday. 21 years ago, I was born and 21 years now I am still breathing. Birthdays are never a big event for me nor for my family. I never did understand what all the big fuss was about. I hate attentions and I really don't think there's anything happy about birthdays. Birthdays has always reminded me of disappointment, lost hope and an end. 16 came and nothing was sweet about it. 21 is here but nothing is exciting about it. The only difference today compared to a few weeks ago is only an addition to a number and a license to vote.  Someone wished me a good birthday and hope that I could chink off my cynicism. I'm sorry. I don't think I can manage that. I had to grow...

I am now pronouncing the termination of my blog. I have been so busy that I cannot find time to update my blog as often as I want to anymore. Add to the fact that the only time that I have is now being spent in my hometown to get some alone time with my boyfriend I don't think I can juggle so much anymore. So...please don't bombard me with questions and demands for me to continue updating my post. Or anything about my boyfriend...Really sorry this have to be the end... Eh...you know what's today's date or not, ha?? Need to write this down as a momentous moment in my life leh...

One of the interesting aspects of taking an English Language based course is the fact that you will be reading and analysing English Literature, be it recent or old. Mostly, old. I am in the midst of getting my assignment done and in a whim, I had chosen Oscar Wilde's Picture of Dorian Gray to be analysed for my Introduction to English Literature.  The first time I read it was when I was in my primary school years. Being young and innocent, I read it without really understanding the full idea of what exactly Wilde was saying. I remembered the story well and liked it very much then, even though my comprehension towards the story was not the way it is today. This childhood joy has continued on until I decided to revisit the story recently. The reason why the story drew me when I was young was because I had find it interesting that a picture could turn ugly and old while the real person remain untainted by time. I had devoured everything mystical and magic then, so it really is unsu...

Quick note: For anyone who's interested in arts check out this site: Drawing for geeks! It's a collection of drawings done by random people. Pictures are out every Friday and the drawings are based on themes given beforehand. Some are really adorable looking, while others are cool. Nuff' said, go see if you're interested. The Chinese New Year has finally come to an end (anyone tried the Yao Jia's How Tos?). Yesterday's Chap Goh Mei (did I spell that correctly?) passed by without my notice until I cycled by the lake in the afternoon. Hihihi...It seems like there's many single people looking for love in Kampar. I saw a few mandarin oranges floating in the lake...so to the single ladies and gentlemen out there, go to Westlake next time on Chap Goh Mei. Who knows...maybe you'll meet your love one there.  I have been busy with assignments these few days but hopefully it will all come to an end by next week. Not much to talk about since I can't find any...

Welcome to another episode of "Yao Jia's How Tos". Today, we shall learn how to celebrate a wonderful celebration of Chinese New Year in a creative way. Before we begin, please be forewarned that all loss of wealth or damage to self is your own responsibility and the author will not be held responsible for them, thank you very much.  HOW TO RUSH IN THE YEAR OF THE TIGER CREATIVELY~ 1. Go around restaurants asking for "angpow" money after telling them you have been patrolling the area for robbers.   I went to have "bak kut teh" for breakfast on Sunday just before heading to Kampar. Parked in front of the restaurant was a police car and the policemen were happily sitting in said car waiting for the taukeh to go ask them what seems to be the problem. Said policemen happily asked for "angpow" because they have been patrolling the area. Yesiree...our lovely authorities setting up good examples for the general public... 2. Find a dresser with a ...

Will post when I return from a short stint back to hometown. In the meantime, would like to wish everyone Happy Chinese New Year and to those who are not celebrating, have a happy holiday~

Teeheehee...I'm going to let you in on a secret. Promise you won't laugh okay?? That's me in the picture (I'm on the top left with the mushroom head and glasses...). This was taken when I was in Standard 5. I remember the petty fights we used to have about the smallest, craziest things. I remember Mak Cik Ros, the fierce and scary looking canteen lady. I remember staying back at school together with everyone to cram for our UPSRs. I remember the white, tiny swings by the fence that we always rush over to when we reached the school... Looking back now, it feels like all these happened a hundred years ago. Those were the carefree days. The days when we truly had no worries. We fought but we forget about them the next day. We cried but always comforted each other.This picture showed me the time when we were uncorrupted, when we were innocent (see! I was once innocent too...) and full of hopes towards the future. It's amazing to see the powers of technology. I...

....all that you know is actually just a figment of someone's imagination? I mean really, what if all the facts about history that you read is actually just a lie? Something someone wrote and the people of today assume to be true.  Histories are in essence, stuff that has happen in the past and written today by professionals but seriously, there's no 400 year old people walking around so who's to know whether or not what is written in the history books today are true? For all we know, dinosaurs may not even exist. It could be some Neanderthal's school artwork left behind and millions of years later we dig it up and assume it's animals crawling around Earth a long, long time ago...If you hadn't read about dinosaurs in books, seen them on tv, accept them as a known fact, would you still believe this creatures once exist? There's no valid explanation right now how they ended up extinct so maybe my theory is correct. Dinosaurs are some random kid's homewor...

Yes, your eyes are not fooling you. The hiatus is temporarily over and there is a new post...  As some of you may know there's some Chinese festival/occasion thingy coming up so like the good granddaughter that I am, I went to KK to visit my grandfather with my mom and aunt today. The thing about Chinese festival/occasion thingy is, you always end up bumping into relatives that you wish you don't have. These are the relatives that seem to think torturing you are their unbound duty.  Year in and year out no matter how many times I see them, they will unrelentingly ask the same old question and go through the same routine of quizzing me about my life. Their habitual repetition of qu estions is just a menial, non-essential to me. They are old after all so they have the liberty to do as many repeating as they want to. Besides I can't expect them to keep tabs on everything related to their families or relatives. I don't keep tabs on their actual positions in the family tre...

Not a few days have passed since I started my new blog and so much has happened. Where to begin really? I am feeling a bit melancholic ever since receiving my first assignment results. To say the least, it was horrendous. Nothing of what I had expected and everything my worse nightmare can become. It was an essay, one that I finished early and somehow right now I wish I hadn't. So many "if only"s going on in my head but I keep telling myself that it's over and done with. Nothing that can be done to change it otherwise. I have three days worth of holidays but I can't properly enjoy it because I am still obsessing over it even though I keep telling myself I should not. This is not me. I never care so much about getting A for any examination. I never care so much about any assignments, any projects. I told my friend about it and she was surprised to hear me talk like that. This was from someone who dared to hand in an incomplete work for her PMR history exam paper pr...

Introducing.....my new blog~ Crimine di Passione, a sister (?) blog to Asinine Bedlam. Sadly, this is not a public blog so no one is allowed to go visit it or read it. I'm just announcing it here because I am so happy of this new addition to the family. I just thought I need to explain why there will be certain times when the blog will be left empty because it usually means I'm updating the other one. I do not want to clutter this blog with emo post since that was never my intention in the first place. But be warned, there will be certain times when an emo post will make an appearance over here. The post in the Crimine di Passione are not for your eyes. Why Crimine di Passione? It's Italian! It sounds sexy (Italian tends to do that...). It means something not sexy though...Crime of Passion. You know how the police usually label a first-degree murder as a crime of passion? That is where the idea come from. The motivation for murder is usually anger. The name symbolises th...

It's been raining for a few days now. Wet. Cold. It feels nice in the morning waking up to see mountains covered in a blanket of clouds looking so clean and pure but it is also a pain in my freezing rear end. SIGH....girls....you can never satisfy them. Give me energy. Give me time. Give me strength to pull this through~ I can feel my lazy bones tingling because I really wish I could skip out and enjoy the day instead. I want to go out for a nice long walk without bothering about assignments, exams or studies! I want to be able to sit under the sun and enjoy the warm rays again. Heck, I wouldn't even mind sitting under the rain for a change right now! I want to be fully awake to be able to enjoy a short reprieve before battling out with dragons and monsters again. The mind wrecking, crazy, obsessive side of me would not even allow myself to take a breather and I feel like screaming at myself. Stop caring so much! It's not the end of the world yet! SIGH....so tired. Today...

...like living with our heads in the middle of the clouds. The panic, the adrenaline, the exhilaration. But when we fall, we fall down hard. It's painful beyond belief. Once reality sets in, who are we to blame but ourselves for aiming high? For believing in the impossible?

Only in Yao Jia's world can curry flavoured instant noodles change to onion chicken flavour... (=__=;) In life, human plays many roles. As a companion, a friend, a family; everybody has a different mask for different occasions. You put on your 'happy' mask when you do not want people prying into your sad life. You put on the 'pity' mask when you hope for some understanding. But when you take off all these masks, what are you left with? I am a sister, a daughter, a friend. I have different masks and I am not afraid to admit that some may be ugly than the others. The happy mask may not be sincere. The ecstatic mask may not be telling the truth. When all is over, who should I answer to? When all the grime is washed off, what is there to be seen on the husk?  There is a cold war going on. In order to retain the superficial outlook of peace, we continue with our farce. The facade of layers and layers of masks is put on early in the morning the moment we open our eye...